Parenting Mike Lindstrom June 8, 2004 “Success is peace of mind that is a direct result of self-satisfaction in knowing you gave your best effort to become the best of which you are capable.” Coach John Wooden The above stated quote is not just a quote, it is a belief system to adopt on a daily basis, in every area of our lives. It is seldom contemplated that Coach Wooden was one of the best coaches of all time; if we were to model his belief structure that he espoused to thousands of college athletes and adults alike, we would be holding ourselves, our team, or our family to an unprecedented standard in life. With this in mind, we have created some quick coaching strategies that are tried and true by some of the most prolific peak performance coaches in the world. Coaching is the culmination of leadership, knowledge, accountability and gratitude; all of these powerful forces act as one in the coaching process as the “player” (whether it be a child, a worker, a teammate, or a friend) feels the genuine care and concern the coach maintains as the relationship develops. Coaching is endorsing (not teaching) individuals to achieve at their absolute best-this is done by measuring, from a third party vantage point, the gaps between actual performance and desired performance in any given area of one’s life (health/fitness, education, spirituality, the work place, etc.). Then, offering strategies and tools to facilitate the closing of the gap (known as the “Action Gap”). The adage is that “people will do for others what they will not do for themselves.” This behavioral phenomenon is what massively contributes to the success of accountability and the coaching process as a whole. The successful coach will give 1000% effort to the individual at every turn in order to expedite the closing of the Action Gap-thus, the individual will achieve goals and desired outcomes much faster than they would have without the accountability of a coach. In the parenting relationship, it is fundamental that the parent be a solid role model or coach to his/her children. As you may have already experienced, children will virtually mirror their parent’s behavior-what they say, what habits they develop, what TV shows they like, what sports teams they favor, to name a few. With this in mind, it is imperative that the parent coach “walk the talk” and thus, “walk the walk” as a guide to the young mind. Always look for the positive in the child and constantly reinforce the positive behavior. Similarly, the parent coach must also look (but NOT expect) for challenging behavior in the child-this will act as an impetus for actually closing the Action Gap with the child because the parent coach has identified the specific behavior that needs some improvement. It is very important to note that parents must NOT expect negative behavior from their children, no matter how difficult a given area of their life has been-remember the adage, “Whatever you give energy to will grow.” For example, let’s assume that little Johnny has not been an outstanding student in mathematics and he continues to bring home less-than-average grades in that specific subject. It would be easy for Johnny’s parents to “throw in the towel” on Johnny and draw the assumption that “Johnny is simply NOT good at math!” Therefore, the parents grow, via conditioning, to expect that Johnny will NOT excel in math. This is a HUGE mistake some parents make because it is easier to write Johnny off than it may be to work with him to close the Action Gap in this area of his life. A solid parent coach would quickly identify this challenging (NOT “problematic”) area of Johnny’s educational career and bolster his confidence by positive reinforcement and good old fashion love and care for the tender youth. They would continually feed his mind with positive beliefs and constantly check in with Johnny to hold him accountable at the highest possible levels. Remember, your child will respect what you inspect so be smart about your inspections. Always expect the Best and you, and your child, will reap the benefits!

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Jeff Radel, CRS 'Make a Smart Move' House of Brokers Realty, Inc. 1515 Chapel Hill Rd. Columbia, MO 65203 Phone: 573-446-6529 Fax: 573-446-5408 jefrealtor@aol.com Website			Donna Adams, GRI, ABR 'Make A Smart Move!!!' House of Brokers Realty, Inc. 1515 Chapel Hill Rd. Columbia, MO 65203 Phone: 573-446-6530 Fax: 573-446-5408 dadams@houseofbrokers.com Website